I was watching a video one day of a young college student having a civil conversation with someone. She was sitting at her desk and had a sign above her. Suddenly a man comes over and tears down the sign and starts to walk away. The woman tries to talk to him, but he is not at all interested in finding common ground or explaining clearly why he did what he did. I don’t know for sure what he was feeling, but it was clear that he didn’t agree with what was on the sign. He allowed his feelings to guide his actions and ended up causing trouble for himself.  

We live in a post-modern world where relativism has become the norm. As Norman Geisler put it: “The world today can be characterized by a rejection of moral absolutes, a deep religious skepticism, and an indifference or outright rejection of objective truth.”

Today people believe what they want to believe and do what they want to do. They don’t want to be held accountable to a certain moral standard or religious doctrine. People nowadays see these as “narrow-minded” ideologies and believe that not having such “restrictions” will liberate them. 

When people follow the idea to live out “their truth”, they want other people to affirm it, to not question it, and for others to see things “their way.” They don’t want anyone or anything to get in their way because they see that as restricting their freedom. 

Our culture today encourages us to make decisions based on how we feel. And that is how many are living out their lives. What you experience is also highly valued and is seen as enough evidence to prove your point. 

It’s true that how we experience the world matters. But our experiences don’t define what is ultimately true. You and your friends could live in the same town but have very different experiences. How you experience living there will paint a picture that could be very skewed.  

Similarly, emotions tell us important things about ourselves and our ability to cope, process, and persevere. Many of our emotions linger from the past, things that were true then and still affect us now. This is why recovering from trauma is so sensitive and can take a very long time. 

We need to address our emotions. We need to contemplate what we feel and bring it to the light. But the goal is not to be ruled by our emotions. It doesn’t mean we ignore them and it doesn’t mean we don’t ask for help. But our emotions are not the ultimate definer of reality. 

For instance, you can be angry about a particular situation, but it doesn’t give you the license to lash out at someone. It doesn’t allow you to contemplate starting an argument with someone or trying to get revenge on them. 

Paul teaches in Ephesians 4:26 that it is okay to feel angry, but not to sin in your anger, that is not putting your anger on someone else or using it in harmful ways. 

In verse 27 Paul warns us to not allow anger to fester in our hearts so that Satan doesn’t have an opportunity to use it against us. Satan often likes to exploit our feelings because he knows just how powerful they can be. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to Paul’s warning very well and allowed my feelings to control and guide my life for many years. It wasn’t until I went to counseling and was taught the following illustration that I realized how I was living was really harming me.    

If we allow feelings to drive the train, it will go off course when we run into a problem. The feelings part of the train will start to affect other parts, such as faith. When feelings affect your faith, you can begin to fear and doubt God’s capabilities and even His sovereignty. 

Now if we switch feelings for truth (fact), the train will stay on track because feelings will have much less control. Even if a terrible situation happens, the truth will stabilize both faith and feelings and keep the train moving.  

Truth is not like making a sandwich. You can’t pick and choose what truth you like, truth is truth, even if you disagree. Truth is absolute, unchanging, and not affected by someone’s feelings, opinions, or attitudes. 

The book of Psalms is a great example of seeing people, like King David, Moses, Solomon, Ethan, Asaph, and the Korahites, express all their emotions and thoughts about their situations but always seeking the Lord, who is The Truth. 

Many times they praise Him for saving, forgiving, and redeeming them. Other times, they are worried, “cast down” (Psalm 42:5,11; 43:5), and frustrated. King David asks the Lord in one of his toughest situations, 

“Why do You stand afar off, O Lord? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 NASB).

Later in the chapter, however, David expresses confidence that the Lord has answered his prayer, 

“The Lord is King forever and ever; Nations have perished from His land. O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, that man who is of the earth may cause terror no more.” (Psalm 10:16-18 NASB). 

When we are dependent on God, read His Word diligently and carefully on a daily basis, follow His teachings, practice capturing every thought and making it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:1-5) and make Him Lord of our lives, our thinking, and behavior begin to change. Over time, we learn how to be more patient, kind, and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23). 

More than ever do we need to understand what it is to love someone. It is not by affirming a lie, it is not by approving everything they do, but by telling them the truth, even if it hurts their feelings. As 1 John 4:6 says, “…let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.” 

 It is Christ who is to be exalted, not our feelings. We will know Him by obedience, not by emotions. Our love will be shown by obedience, not by how good we feel about God at a given moment. “And love means following the commands of God.” “Do you love Me?” Jesus asked Peter. “Feed My lambs.” He was not asking, “How do you feel about Me?” for love is not a feeling. He was asking for action.

 Elisabeth Elliot

References

• The Gospel According to Satan by Jared C. Wilson
• Conversational Evangelism: Connecting with People to Share Jesus by David and Norman Geisler
• I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be An Atheist by Norman Geisler and Frank Tuerk